Slow It Down, A Joshifer Fan Fic
by OhhMockingjayyy
Summary: A work in progress dedicated to my favorite (fictional) couple, Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson. Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Jennifer/Josh or any of the characters mentioned in this story. This is meant to be a work of fiction only, completely from my imagination. It is NOT meant to depict reality in any way shape or form. Rating M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

[A/N: All right I'm still new to writing, I hope you enjoy. I'm also still working on "Out of the Ashes" so I'll be splitting time between these two stories. I'm going to try to update at least once a week. PLEASE REVIEW!]

The scent of peppermint always reminded me of Christmas at my grandmother's house in Kentucky. She had this little bowl of candy that sat beside her chair in the den and every time I went over there during the holidays I would leave with a hand full of peppermint candy in my pocket.

It was only days before Christmas and I was sitting in an airport waiting to fly home from Hawaii where I'd been filming Catching Fire. My face was buried in one of my favorite books but there was one little boy who kept running from his mother and climbing into the chair next to me. He'd wave his candy cane at me and giggle bashfully before climbing down and running back to her. I have to admit the first few times it was cute, but now, after a least a dozen interruptions just trying to get through this one paragraph, I was considering escaping down the terminal to find a Starbucks or some other form of caffeine.

I gathered up my things, shoving my book into my large black purse before tugging my sunglasses down over my eyes. The last thing I felt like dealing with was the rampage of paparazzi or screaming fans but things had actually been pretty quiet lately. Of course, there were the set picture popping up everywhere but few people actually got more than a birds-eye view.

Most of the cast was leaving Hawaii for Christmas, though we'd be back for a few more weeks after the holidays to finish filming. I was going to fly into LAX and relax at home until Christmas Eve and then head to Kentucky to see my family for a the week.

"Caramel Macchiato, please."

"Sure, and what's your—oh... your that girl, from the Hunger Games. Katie, Katie come here, it's..."

_Oh shit._ I found myself shaking my head desperately. _Great, just great_, I thought. "Jennifer." I said, completing his sentence. A few people were poking their heads up from their laptops, looking around when the manager walked up silencing the star-struck barista.

"Anything else for you ma'am?" The manager asked. My eyes fell on the cake pops. _Caaaake pops_, I couldn't resist.

"One of the cake pops, also." I stammered.

Between the coffee and my usual anxiety of flying I was a jittery mess about half-way through my flight home. Reading was impossible so I resorted to listening to music and playing on my iPhone. I ended up finding a text message from Nick that I missed yesterday.

_Can't wait to see you, Angel. I've missed you._

A little smile played on my lips reading that. Nick and I had grown apart a lot lately, our careers were just on different tracks right now but I would be happy to see him back in California. He had been busy filming "Warm Bodies" and now was working on "Mad Max" while I was busy with all things Hunger Games and "The Silver Linings Playbook".

By the end of the long flight I was so relieved to touch down on solid ground. When I finally made it past all the paparazzi and back to my condo in LA I was exhausted. The quiet silence was spectacular though. I quickly changed into sweatpants and one of Nick's t-shirts he left over here and began flipping through the channels on TV. I smiled when I found A Christmas Story playing on TBS and sat down with a bowl of ice cream to relax.

A few minutes later my phone buzzed on the end table and I reached over to see Josh's name on the display.

_Make it home safely? _

I slid my thumb over the display and sat down the bowl in my lap before my fingers slid over the screen.

_The paparazzi practically attacked my Volkswagen but I'm safe on my couch right now... with ice-cream and a Christmas Story. _

I barely had time to put my phone down before his response came through.

_A Christmas Story? Check it. Well, have a good night Jen. _

_Goodnight Josh, _I replied and finished my ice cream before curling up under the blankets.

I woke up to the sound of knocking on the door to my condo.

_Shit! What time is it?! _

I kicked off the covers knocking over the empty bowl of ice cream onto the carpet below and searched the couch cushions for my phone. _8:49 AM._ The banging on the door didn't stop so I got up running a hand through my tangled hair as I went to peek through the peephole. To my surprise, Nick was standing on the other side, a grin spread across his face and his blue eyes gleaming. My fingers danced over the dead-bolt and I swung open the door.

"Nicholas Hoult. What are you doing here so early?" I grinned from ear to ear.

He pulled a dozen red roses from behind his back, he wasn't hiding them all that well anyway. I accepted them and then he grabbed me, tugging me into his arms.

"I couldn't stand another minute without you, Love." He said into my hair as our bodies pressed together in the doorway of my condo. In his other hand he held a brown paper bag, it crunched against my back as he held me.

"You brought food..." I deducted and he laughed as we closed the door to the condo. Nick made his way over to the pile of blankets on my couch.

"You have a bed, you know." Nick said, tossing the blankets into the chair in the corner and tripping over the bowl in the floor, causing the spoon to clink against the china.

"I couldn't make it that far." I said, scooping up the bowl and heading off to the kitchen to put the roses in water. I deposited the dish in the sink and then began searching for a vase for the roses. "These are beautiful, Nick." I called out from the kitchen as I trimmed the stems and sat the vase of roses on the bar where he could see from the living room.

"So are you, Raven." He grinned. He always called me that on the set of X-Men where we met and it stuck, only because I hated it _so much_. It was like his way of poking fun at me and I just rolled my eyes before joining him with two glasses of orange juice on the couch.

"I'll let you by with the one, only because you brought food." I mused. "What's in the bag?"

He dumped the contents on the table. "Sausage biscuits from Pann's." A little container toppled out next to the biscuits. "Country fried potatoes too."

My eyes widened and I leaned over pressing a kiss to Nick's cheek. "You know me too well."

We ate our breakfast together on the couch, talking about Hawaii and his upcoming premieres. Nick was the type of guy that I instantly felt comfortable around. I didn't mind sitting here, hair a mess, in my sweatpants and eating breakfast with him. He had to leave soon though and promised to be back tonight to pick me up for dinner. We were celebrating Christmas over dinner tonight so that meant I had all day to find his perfect Christmas gift. What on earth would I buy him? The guy had everything.

I took a shower, straightened my hair and got prepared to head out to The Grove. I put on a little make-up and found a hat to wear. LA was getting unbearable because of the paparazzi but I was hoping for the best. My friend Zoë joined in the adventure and we ended up basically playing "hide from the paparazzi" all day. We came out with a handful of bags, a few strange fan encounters to laugh about and a bag containing my gifts for Nick.

I had purchased a bottle of Macallan 18 to share over dinner tonight. The box set of Tarantino movies and the Coach gloves he'd mentioned the last time we were in the UK. He'd be heading there to see his family tomorrow and I'd head to Kentucky. We'd be worlds away from each other, again.

After I dropped Zoë off at her loft I went home to wrap up his gift and get ready for dinner. At 6:25 there was a knock on my door. I was about mid-way through fixing my hair. I put down my straightener, wondering why Nick was so early. When I swung open the door though I found Josh, my co-star from the Hunger Games and friend, standing on the other side.

"Oh my god, Josh! What are you doing here?" I exclaimed embarrassed with the state of my appearance. Half my hair was up in a clip on one side of my hair, curly out like a peacock and the other side was straight down to my shoulders.

"God, I shouldn't have come up here uninvited. It's just... Vanessa and... I didn't know what to do." He was rambling, his eyes were red and he was sort of stumbling over his speech.

"Joshua Ryan! Are you drunk?!" I exclaimed. "How did you get here?"

"I walked." He slurred. "She kicked me out of the car about three blocks back. Told me I could walk home. That bitch."

"Get in here, now." I said, pulling him inside, thinking about all the paparazzi in the area lately. "What happened?" I finally asked as I brought him a bottle of water from the fridge.

"We had a fight. We always have a fight. I go to Hawaii for a month and come back and she wants to fight some more. I'm so done with her bullshit Jennifer."

I stood there for a few minutes listening to him continue to tell about their constant bickering. I'd heard all about it really. Nick would be here soon though and I knew I had to finish getting ready. I wasn't entirely sure how excited he would be about Josh showing up on my door step. Eventually I escaped and finished straightening my hair and putting on my make up. When I made it back into the living room Josh had his head in his hands.

"Avan's on his way." He muttered. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"It's fine Josh. It's not really safe to be out there on the curb lately. Too many eyes. Are you all right though?"

"I'm fine. It's just, finally over. I can't deal with this anymore." He finally looked up at me and for a moment a trace of a smile played on his lips. "Fuck Lawrence, you're beautiful."

I let out a loud laugh. "I just fixed my hair Josh."

"Well," he chuckled a little, "You need a hot date? I mean..."

"I already have one actually. Nick and I are going out for Christmas dinner tonight. I leave for Kentucky tomorrow and he's going back to England to visit his family for the holidays." I grinned. "Sober up Hutcherson. How far away is your boy?"

"I don't know, like 10 minutes I think."

I glanced at the clock, Nick would be here any minute. I suppressed a groan and made my way to grab his gifts and make sure I was indeed beautiful. _That's laughable_, I thought. I don't really understand what everyone else sees but I always appreciate the confidence boost. That's when the doorbell rang, how was I ever going to explain this one.


	2. Chapter 2

"So you're telling me that Josh just showed up on your door step, Jennifer?"

"Yes and you could have been a little nicer, don't you think?" I said locking the door to my condo and following Nick towards his car parked on the curb.

"He was drunk! He came running to you! What am I supposed to think?!" Nick was almost shouting now as he ducked into the driver's side of his Audi next to me and slammed the door.

If the paparazzi was anywhere nearby they'd be all over us in a matter of seconds now. I was actually hoping they had caught sight of Avan and Josh leaving a few minutes ahead of us and were now following them around LA instead of me. I was especially regretting this whole situation now as I looked out of the window while Nick cruised down Sunset Boulevard. This was supposed to our night and it was starting out just _perfectly_. I could feel a tear slip down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away and willed the rest of my tears to stay in my eyes. _Thank God for waterproof mascara._

"Seriously. There is nothing going on between me and Josh. He's my _friend_, Nick. You have to trust me." I finally piped up when I was sure I had my composure.

Nick's lips were pressed in a solemn line, his eyes on the road as he gave a small nod in response. It left me wondering what was going on in his head. We rode in silence until he finally turned the car over to the valet in front of a small Italian restaurant off Melrose Avenue. I gathered his gifts from the floor board and stepped out balancing on my red stiletto heels.

He slid an arm around me as he closed my door and leaned over to whisper into my ear. "Let's just enjoy the evening, all right love?"

I relaxed a bit, a smile playing on my lips as I conceded. I didn't want to spend the evening fighting. It was ridiculous. It was just Josh, we were just friends, I didn't do anything wrong.

Dinner was excellent. After a few glasses of wine and a plate of squash mezzelune, Nick and I were smiling and laughing. I had all but forgotten our spat over my drunken co-star and his rocky relationship.

"Here," I grinned widely. "Open your gift first." I passed the small gift bag across the table to Nick. It had grown quiet in the restaurant and I was glad to have the privacy. Nick dug around in the bag for a moment and his blue eyes lit up when he pulled the gloves from the red and green tissue paper.

"Jen, these cost a fortune!" He exclaimed, as a broad smile curled his lips. "And Tarantino on blu-ray. It's perfect."

I smiled lightly as he put his gifts down and reached over the table to take both of my hands. The candle votive in the center of the table flickered over the green table cloth.

"Thank you." He said quietly as his thumb traced over mine.

"You're welcome." I said nudging his leg with my stiletto heel under the table. He raised an eyebrow and motioned to the server for the check. She disappeared around the corner and he released my hand to grab a small box from his pocket.

I examined the little white box closely as he carefully placed it on the table in front of me. A hint of a smile played on his lips as he waited for me to open it. I slid a midnight blue fingernail under the red ribbon on the box and began to untie it.

Little boxes like this scared me. I always heard that "good things come in small packages" but so do huge commitments. My heart was beating a little too quickly as I slid the ribbon off the box and proceeded to open it up. As I lifted the lid off the box I could see that the object inside was a key and my eyes widened in disbelief.

"What is this?" I sputtered as I looked up at Nick. "Where does this key belong?" My heart was pounding against my ribs now. It threatened to beat right out of my chest, right onto the table in front of me as I waited for an explanation.

Nick's blue eyes trailed from the silver key between my fingers up to finally meet my eyes. The smirk spread across his face was so like him.

"Jennifer, will you move to Manhattan with me?"

My mouth was gaping open as I searched for words. I could barely think with my pulse pounding against my temples. A sense of dread washed through me and my stomach churned. Luckily our server returned to the table, giving me a few more moments to gather my thoughts. I took a huge swig of water hoping to wash my dinner back down.

I wasn't paying any attention to the conversation between the server and Nick. I was trying to figure out if I was ready for such a huge step in our relationship. I certainly wasn't planning on being one of those domestic wives who stayed at home raising children all day. Husbands, children, just weren't part of my plan at all right now, I had my career and that was really all that I wanted right now.

"So what do you say?" He inquired again. It felt like his icy blue eyes were piercing into my soul.

"I—I mean I'd have to sell the condo and all my contacts are here in LA. I don't know, Nick." I answered honestly. He was dreaming if he thought I could just drop everything and move across the country with him.

"So you'll consider it?" He said, a half smile playing on his lips.

"I'll consider it." I nodded. It wasn't an outright lie. I was considering it right now, wasn't I?

I finished my glass of water while Nick ran to the restroom. I put the small box containing the key to Nick's loft in Manhattan in my purse. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting for Christmas. Maybe a necklace or a bracelet, not a key to his loft across the country. I tried not to show how disappointed I was as he drove us home through the dark streets of LA.

When we arrived at my condo Nick parked in his usual spot on the curb and then came around to get the door for me. I stepped out, wobbling on my heels and leaning against him. He walked me up the stairs until we were standing at the door of my condo. I wasn't sure if he was expecting to come in, especially since I hadn't jumped at the opportunity to uproot my life at the drop of a pin. I was feeling confused and disappointed and I couldn't read from his expression what he had been expecting or how he was feeling.

He leaned down, catching me off guard before I could get the key in the lock of the door, and pressed his lips to my ear.

"I had a great time with you tonight, love." He whispered, his hot breath tickling my ear.

"Me too." I said breathlessly, turning to face him in the darkness.

His lips crushed against mine and my fingers wound into his dark hair. His body pinning me back against the door for a moment before the flash bulbs from down the corridor startled me from the moment.

"Jennifer. Nick." The voices called as cameras shuttered.

"Fuck." Nick muttered as he pulled away. I quickly turned, jamming the key into the lock and pushing the door open.

The two of us stood there for a moment, looking at one another, once the door was closed.

"The paparazzi is unbearable here anymore." I groaned, kicking off my heels.

"That's why you should come to Manhattan, Jenn." He reaffirmed as he caught his breath from our quick entrance.

"I don't know, Nick. It's just not that simple." I sighed as he pulled me into his arms.

"I should go. I have an early flight. Just promise me you'll think about it." He said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

I nodded and and poised on my tiptoes to give him a lingering kiss. Part of me wished he could stay tonight but the other part of me was still overwhelmed and frankly disappointed. I just wanted time to think and it was already past midnight.

After Nick left I found myself laying in bed, the covers curled up around me, trying to absorb their warmth. Before I fell asleep though my phone buzzed on my nightstand. I rolled over expecting a good night text from Nick. Instead I found a text from Josh.

_Look, I'm really sorry about everything. I shouldn't have just showed up. Hope you had a great night anyway. _

I stared at that message for a long time before I turned off the light. For some reason I wanted to call Josh, tell him how horribly everything went tonight, but I didn't. I laid down and closed my eyes trying to decide if I could really leave LA. If I could ever see myself marrying Nick, having his kids. _Isn't that what living together leads up to?_ I tried to imagine myself as the mother of the little boy in the airport, giggling bashfully. Was that what I really wanted?

I finally gave up. I found my eyes closing and eventually sleep took me under it's grip. The next thing I knew "Jingle Bell Rock" was blaring through the room signaling time for my busy day to begin.


	3. Chapter 3

[A/N: I'M ALIVE. So I'm sure most of you thought I'd forgotten this story. Truth is, I never did but I'm very sorry for the lack of updates. This is a short chapter but I hope you'll let me know what you think.]

I was staring into the bowl of peppermints at my grandmother's house when my brothers burst into the living room, hot and sweaty. Blaine was still tossing around the football in his hands when Ben swatted it into the floor.

"Dammit, Ben!" Blaine hissed as the ball bounced over the carpet to my feet. The sound of their laughter stopped when my grandfather glared at them from his spot on the couch.

"Your grandmother's never allowed you to play ball in this house, so you're not starting now," he said in a harsh tone, and I grinned up at them with raised eyebrows as they both took seats in the living room with Grandpa.

"Sorry, Pops." Ben said, reclining back in his chair and I could see the ghost of a smile on my grandfather's face. Grams must be in hearing distance. _Sucker,_ I thought.

Most of the afternoon passed quickly, lunch and gifts and visiting with everyone. I hardly even checked my phone during the day and when I finally glanced at on the ride back to my parent's house I saw I'd missed a few calls. Nick, twice... and then there was a text from Josh.

_How's Kentucky? Hope you had a safe flight._

I grinned as I typed out a response from the dark back seat. Mom and Dad were forcing me to listen to Christmas music but hey, it got me out of driving.

_It's good. Merry Christmas, Josh._ I responded, deciding to wait until I was alone to call Nick.

I hadn't told my parents about his request for me to move to Manhattan. As much as I liked Nick, I couldn't even imagine living permanently in New York or even living _with_ Nick. I had started my career out there but if I could just live in Kentucky and pursue my career, I probably would. My thoughts were interrupted by my Dad's voice. He was looking in the rear-view mirror at me as he sang.

"You better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why." He bellowed and I laughed out loud before I gave in and sang the last of the song with him and my mother. Luckily Blaine and Ben were not around to make fun of me. I was the last one who still had a room at my parents and I really didn't think I was in a hurry to change that.

I spent the rest of the night finishing the book by J.D Salinger I had been trying to read lately and when I turned to the last page, there stood a short biography of the author. The word "Manhattan" leaped right off the page at me. Salinger had been raised in Manhattan. It was like I just couldn't escape this decision I was putting off. Finally, I crept down the hall to the kitchen to find my mother standing over the sink.

"Don't you know Santa doesn't come until you're fast asleep?" She grinned and I just shook my head at her.

"Who says I believe in Santa?" I jeered, pouring myself a glass of milk before learning back against the counter and taking a drink.

"Mom?" I said, as she started to walk out of the kitchen. She turned around slowly before I continued. "Nick asked me to move in with him. In Manhattan."

It was hard to read her expression at first, shock maybe? She had met Nick, he wasn't a spectacle at our house, but she knew a bit about my relationship with him. She also knew how much my career meant to me, and my independence. I confided in my mom quite often, actually. I guess I was lucky to have such a wonderful mother.

"And what did you say?" She asked, though I'm quite certain she knew the answer already.

"I told him I'd _think_ about it."

"And have you?" She said with knitted eyebrows, her voice quieter than before.

"Yes." I answered honestly, sitting down my glass on the counter. "I just... I don't think I can do that right now." And suddenly I was pouring out my heart on Christmas Eve to my mother.

I ended up crawling into bed around midnight. I had forgotten to call Nick but it was too late now. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell him that I wasn't moving to New York with him. I wondered if he would break it off with me because I wasn't ready to take the next step? Could we be the same? I mean we'd dealt with distance plenty. That I was used to, but this was going to feel like I was rejecting him and I didn't know any way around it if I truly followed my heart. Eventually I fell asleep that night, and did my damnedest to avoid Nick until I was back in LA the day after Christmas.


	4. Chapter 4

[A/N: This was a tough chapter to write, sorry if it's a tough one to read. I promise I'm getting into Joshifer soon. As always, thanks for reading and for reviewing!]

—Jennifer—

I laid on my back, eyes opening to stare at the ceiling fan above me. My neck ached and my back hurt. It was late, I could tell from the sunlight pouring into the room from the nearby window.

"Jet lag suuucks", I sighed aloud and rolled to look past Nick at the clock. Nine thirty-three.

I tried to force my eyes shut for a while. I tugged the covers up to my chin but I couldn't will myself back to sleep. I slipped out of bed, leaving a sleeping Nick sprawled across the sheets. I settled my mind with a hot shower and a steaming mug of coffee. That was until Nick appeared in the kitchen doorway clad in only his pajama pants. He stood staring with sleepy eyes over at me sitting on a bar stool at the island.

"Hi." I smiled, bringing the warm mug to my lips.

"Good morning." Nick said, padding over to the coffee maker. "Happy New Year's Eve, love."

The last time we had talked was on Christmas Day. We chatted about the gifts we received, silly family traditions and then I agreed to come to New York with him for New Year's. I had only visited Times Square at New Year's a few times and now that he had this condo in Manhattan, I couldn't think of a reason why I shouldn't indulge him. I thought maybe I would find a way to break the news to him that my stay wasn't permanent. I didn't find that opportunity last night after I arrived though. I had ached for the feel of his skin against mine too badly to ruin the moment after we were breathless in the sheets. Now, as I stare down at my empty coffee mug, all I can seem to feel is some sort of mix of guilt and regret for not being completely up front with him.

"Happy New Year's Eve", I managed as I propped my elbows on the bar. His genuine smile made that little flicker of guilt flare up a little more.

"Could get used to this, you know. Waking up to hot coffee and a beautiful woman in my kitchen. Or in my bed..." He mumbled the last part his lips curling into a tempestuous grin.

Deadpan.

_Fuck_. I thought to myself, the heavy silence looming between us as he pours himself a cup of coffee. I must have thanked God ten times in half a second that Nick couldn't see my face. Well, this was it, the opportunity to try and explain myself, explain my decision. I took a deep breath as he turned to face me, eyebrows raised in question.

"I could too, I mean, maybe. I just... I can't leave LA, Nick, I'm sorry." _That was great Jen, so much for being straight forward. _

"What do you mean? You've got plenty of options here. You travel to location when you're filming anyway. Why can't you exactly?" He sipped his coffee but the bitter look didn't disappear.

The look on his face made my stomach swirl. Nick was my first real boyfriend. The first guy I ever loved but I couldn't settle on the idea of him being the last too. Not yet, not for sure. I tried to think about the night with my mom, how easy it was to explain to her but this was entirely different.

"Are you really sure that you're ready to live together, Nick? And what would that be exactly? We'd hardly be home at the same time. Like you said, I'd be on location or you would. All my friends are in Los Angeles and my agent. I just... " I trailed off, trying to find a better way to word it but, "I'm not ready for that yet" is all that tumbled out.

Livid. He was livid, it was clear in his eyes. The sleepy look was gone and all that was left in those blue eyes was anger.

"Fuck, Jen. When will you be ready for that? We've been together for three years now! What are you waiting for? And... and.. your friends? What about your boyfriend?!" He slammed his coffee mug down on the counter, staring at me expectantly.

"I don't know. I... just don't know." I dropped my gaze to my lap. _This was going swell._ "I love you, Nick. I just don't want to uproot everything and leave all my friends."

He shook his head at me when I looked back up at him reluctantly. It hurt every part of me to see him so upset. I didn't want to lose him. I really wasn't sure what it'd be like without him anymore.

"I need a shower," was all he managed to say before I was swiping the tears running down my cheeks as I sat, all alone, at the bar again.

Nick was quiet most of the afternoon as I laid on the couch in the living room watching _VH1's Top 100 of 2013_. It sucked me in and almost made me forget how incredibly mad Nick was. I could feel his sullen stare on me occasionally though.

Eventually I got up and took a shower myself. I didn't even want to go anymore if Nick was just going to be a jerk all night but I figured if I backed out now, that it would only make things worse. I pulled out the dazzling red dress I brought and black stilettos. _I would at least remind him why he was with me and maybe remind him I was worth the wait_, I thought.

When I was finally dressed, hair straightened, and make up on, I stepped out of the bedroom to find Nick in the kitchen, a bottle of Chimay to his lips. As he lowered the bottle I could see the little grin on his lips and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Ready?" I asked grabbing my black clutch off the counter. He nodded, shrugging on his jacket and grabbing my sweater for me.

We were about three miles from Times Square and I insisted I wasn't walking in these shoes so Nick drove us as close as we could get and pulled into a parking garage nearby. I was surprised when I saw him pull the bottle of Chimay from under the seat after he parked.

"The fuck, Nick?" I hissed and he popped the cork out again and took a long swig, not bothering to look at me.

"Lighten' up, Jen," he mused. Clearly this wasn't the only bottle he had opened while I was getting ready. He was thoroughly disappointed I hadn't brought a huge purse as he slid the bottle back under the seat. _Perfect. Just perfect_, I thought.

Despite the crowd, Nick didn't bother to hold my hand and I didn't dare try to grab his. The two of us walked next to each other down the busy Broadway Street sidewalk until the familiar sight of Times Square enveloped us.

The New Year's Eve ball sat looming atop One Times Square and people everywhere were gathering towards the stage. Luckily, only few of them were looking around yet and I hadn't been noticed much. Nick had found some friend of his and they chatted loudly, and I had to put on my best smile as he introduced me. I did note he still called me "his girlfriend". I guessed that was a good sign.

The rest of the evening we spent hanging around with David and his date, Caitlin. She was quiet for the most part. She seemed more interested in the environment than in David. He and Nick both constantly had a drink in their hand and I couldn't help but wonder if she was maybe a little starstruck. Not long before midnight it was extremely clear that both Nick and David were completely wasted. David couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself and Caitlin clearly wasn't amused. Her frustration was mounting and when she finally cursed at him and pushed him off her, I watched as she darted off into the crowd in disbelief.

I glared at Nick but he and David were just laughing. This was so unlike Nick and I was so entirely pissed off that I glared at Nick and took off after the girl. She'd said like two words to me the whole time but she seemed like better company than my own boyfriend at this point. After about five minutes of pushing through the crowd I lost sight of Caitlin and the sound of counting was all that filled my ears. I looked up, now lost in a sea full of strangers, as the seconds until midnight ticked down to zero.

A hundred voices all screamed "Happy New Year" in unison and all I could manage to do was just stand there, angry, disappointed and, worst of all, alone.

"Happy fucking New Year" I practically yelled, noting how badly my feet hurt. I got a few stares, a few people yelling my name but I didn't care. It was going to be a long three mile walk back to Nick's condo, lucky for me I had a key.


	5. Chapter 5

—Jennifer—

It was 10 A.M when I woke up, the alarm on my phone incessantly chiming at me to begin the day. As soon as I reached, eyes half-closed, to the nightstand and grabbed it I swiped the "snooze" button and it proceeded to alert me at least ten times with text messages. I assumed all of them said "Happy New Year" and closed my eyes. I was aware that Nick wasn't in bed next to me. Frankly, I was glad because I would have been tempted to shove one of those stiletto heels up any orifice of his body I could reach for what he did to me last night. The blisters on my feet wouldn't feel better though, and neither would the ache in my chest.

I dozed off for what only seemed like seconds until my phone was reminding me again I had a flight to catch back to Los Angeles. It wasn't the sound of the phone that got me out of bed though, it was the sound of Nick being sick in the bathroom. _Fuck you_, I grumbled to the stale air around me. My stomach churned just at the sound of it but part of me was a little happy that he was getting his karma today. I wondered what happened to Caitlin, the girl from the night before, as I threw the covers off and made my way to the kitchen.

Before I could even open the fridge I saw David, the guy from the night before, passed out in the floor by the couch. _Seriously?! _It was all I could do to start the coffee maker and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I considered making breakfast, _very loudly_, but couldn't bring myself to even muster the energy to do that.

I heard Nick emerge from the bathroom and the sound of him stumbling and falling onto the mattress. If he thought being sick was the worst part of his morning he had another thing coming. I was furious, and even sleeping all night didn't calm me down much. I didn't even bother to close the door when I walked back into his bedroom, looking him over. He was pale and laying on his stomach, eyes closed but I just couldn't find it in me to feel sorry for him. Not even a little.

"You've got to be kidding me." I said, the bitterness in my voice unmistakable.

"Jen, can it wait? I don't feel good."

"And you think I do? You think walking three miles home was _fun_?" It was a bit of a stretch. I managed to hail a cab for the last two miles I approximated.

No answer. He didn't even bother to open his eyes.

"I tell you that I'm not ready to move in with you so you act like a child? Like a sixteen year old, with no regard for anyone but yourself? Was that suppose to win me over, Nick?!" I had lost control of my tone, emotions winning me over entirely, I was infuriated.

His eyes opened then. He rolled to his back, propping up on his elbows. "I've spent three years winning you over, or so I thought. What the hell do you want from me, Jennifer?"

His tone was weary, reflective of how crummy he probably felt and, yet, I still wanted to yell at him. I took a deep breath instead.

"I need some time, Nick, and some space. To think about where things are going here, and where I want them to go." I hadn't considered the consequences of such a bold statement very well. I almost regretted the words once they were off the tip of my tongue.

"What does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?" His blue eyes felt like they were boring a hole into me and when I met them, my barriers fell. Anger dissolving into fear. _Was I breaking up with him?_

"No." I said quietly. It came out more like a question than I meant for it to and Nick picked up on my uncertainty. My eyes fell to the ground, unable to hide the tears welling up inside them.

"Then what do you mean? What do you want?" he said and I could hear the sound of him laying back against the pillows and my phone chime again beside him. Of course he rolled to grab it, basically throwing it at me after he looked at the display. "Josh Hutcherson. I should have figured you'd run to him to tell him how much you hate your boyfriend."

_That was it._ His comment caught me so off guard that my phone slide right through my hands, crashing to the hardwood below. The sound told me everything without even looking down at it. _Hardwood 1, iPhone 0._ My eyes must have widened to the size of saucers as I stared a hole through Nicholas Hoult.

_Fuck the phone_, I thought.

"I don't run to anyone! Our business is our business. I haven't even looked at my phone since yesterday afternoon and Josh is just_ my friend _and_ coworker_. How many times do I have to tell you?!" I was yelling and I could hear our guest moving around in the living room now and the sound of the guest bathroom door closing. "I have a flight to catch," I finally mumbled leaning down to grab my phone. The screen was cracked, I could barely read the display at all now. "You going to buy me a new phone?" I sputtered, waving the broken phone at him.

"Your fumble, not mine," he said sourly, rolling to his stomach. "Tell Josh to buy you one," he added as I grabbed my clothes and disappeared into the bathroom for a hot shower.

"Shut the fuck up, Nick." I said, slamming the bathroom door behind me. I could hear him laugh bitterly.

I took a taxi to the airport. I was early for my flight but I wasn't staying in that condo with Nick and David any longer than I had to. I hadn't officially broken up with Nick. I wasn't sure what I had done really. I tried not to think about it as I made my way through security and into the waiting area to get on my plane to LA.

It wasn't until then that I even remembered to check my messages. It was quite a challenge with the broken screen. I kept wondering if I was going to cut myself but it was just cracked, not entirely shattered. I'd have to get it replaced before I left for Hawaii for filming tomorrow. I had just enough time to get home, shower and unpack before repacking a whole different season's worth of clothes for the warmer climate. I wished I had time to call Zoe but I didn't want to have to go mid-explanation to board the plane.

I scrolled through text messages, my sunglasses pushed up into my dark hair. I let it cascade around my face in an attempt to keep from attracting unwanted attention. There were at least eight messages from family, Blaine, Mom, Ben, cousins, etc. Zoe, and Sam sent messages around 2 A.M. And Josh's message from this morning. I responded to everyone with "Thanks", or at least I thought I did. It was kind of hard to tell, honestly.

First Class and Zone 1 were called for boarding then so I slid my phone into my Hurley purse and boarded the flight. I got comfy in my seat and my phone chimed from my pocket book. I leaned forward to check my notifications.

_Spanks? _The message read, Josh's name barely visible at the top through the cracked screen. I laughed out loud, the first time all day.

_Omg, did I send that? Shit. My phone's cracked. _I sent back quickly.

_Sure. I think you secretly want me though, _his response read and I grinned again.

_Go home, Josh, you're drunk. _

_Hey, you're the one who tried to spank me._

Just then the attendant came by. "I need you to put up your phone, Miss."

"Oh sorry." I said sheepishly but after she walked away I responded.

_On my way back to LA. Be safe, Hutcherson._

I turned my broken phone off, sighing. I was ready to be back in Hawaii, away from Nick, away from everything. Just doing what I love. Before I knew it, I was waking up to the sounds of the pilot on the speakers overhead announcing our landing in Los Angeles in five minutes.


End file.
